Do I Need Therapy? 5 Myths About Therapy and Reasons Therapy Could Actually Help You.
I often hear from clients, it was so hard to finally decide to go to therapy because I'm very self aware and know all the things that "should" help me. I "should" be able to help myself. Why am I going to pay someone to tell me things I already know?
Therapy is still incredibly stigmatized in our society, but mental health support is slowly starting to become recognized as more normal, modern and valid. Our culture often has deeply ingrained myths that therapy is only for "crazy" people or people with "serious mental illness", or you have to be at your absolute worst rock bottom to go to therapy.
I'm here to tell you, this just isn't true. It can't be.
Let’s find out what these myths are that perpetuate the stigma around taking care of your mental health and why these therapy myths continue to discourage people from seeking therapy all together or until their mental health is finally at the lowest it’s ever been and it is extremely impacting their ability to function in their day to day life.
Myth #1: Therapy is only for people with serious mental health issues.
Therapy is for anyone who could use some additional support in their lives, a safe and accepting space, a listening and kind ear, and a voice of validation and reason when needed. People go to therapy for all sorts of reasons but some of the reasons people seek therapy are to deal with a big change that recently happened in their life or a major loss or if they are feeling overly stressed out and anxious with everything they are juggling on their plate.
The most amazing benefit, especially of private pay therapy, is that you don’t need a formal mental health diagnosis from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) to receive therapy and work on improving yourself, your mental health, your relationships and your life. Therapy is often times even more effective when someone gets treatment sooner before feelings of anxiety, sadness or stress get worse and start impacting your daily functioning. Therapy is for anyone who is starting to feel off, down or struggling in some way and even those who just want to continue positively expanding on their self growth in their healing era. Prevention matters just as much as intervention.
Myth #2: Therapy is a waste of time, I have friends I can talk to who are basically the same thing as a therapist and it’s free!
I hear this all the time, “my friends are my therapy”, “the gym is my therapy”, “the beach is my therapy”. And here’s the thing, I don’t disagree to a degree and while your friends absolutely are supportive and important and those activities are amazing, positive and helpful outlets, sometimes people benefit additionally from an unbiased and neutral third party individual and space that won’t give you their unsolicited opinion when you don’t ask and that will help you process through and finally verbalize some of the things you’ve been holding onto that may be keeping you stuck. Therapists are trained professionals who work best to understand you as a whole person and help you both tell and rewrite your story in a way that feels safe, empowering and meaningful.
Myth #3: Therapy is too expensive, it’s only for the rich and wealthy.
There are so many options for therapy out there and a wealth of providers that offer therapy in network with your insurance, can be covered under out of network insurance reimbursement or that offer sliding scale fees. One great, affordable option for therapy that offers a very reasonable sliding scale fee to find a skilled and highly qualified therapist through is Open Path. I myself even reserve a small percentage of my caseload to work with Open Path verified clients to help folx access quality mental health care that would not otherwise be able to afford.
I also often hear folx say things like “shopping is my therapy” or “food is my therapy”. And again while shopping and eating out aren’t negative things in and of themselves, anything that becomes more compuslive like shopping along with other true additions like alcohol or drug use additions can give a great release of dopamine but often times that “good feeling” is short lived and misses addressing the roots of the reasons behind seeking that high in the first place.
I gently challenge you to take some time, think about how often you shop or eat out, with today’s inflation, I bet it ads up very quickly. When you are ready to finally invest in yourself and your mental health, consider how this same amount of money could be spent temporarily on something that is going to help you grow further and further like therapy, sometimes coming to terms with the cost of therapy involves some reprioritization.
And here’s the great news! Therapy does not have to be a long or lifelong commitment, many people focus on therapy for 3-6 months and then take what they learned and go on with their lives in a more balanced and positive manner. The hardest part sometimes can be to taking a look at how we spend our time, money, etc and to decide if there could be a different way to prioritize, take care of, and invest in ourselves. Investing in yourself pays the best interest.
Myth #4: You should know how to help yourself, you don’t need a professional to tell you what you already know.
With all the self help guides and “pull yourself up by your bootstrap” type mentalities our society pushes down our throats or tries to sell us constantly, of course it’s no wonder you feel this way!! AND GUESS WHAT, you’re right! You do know a lot of ways to help yourself already! But with safety, trust and the right connection with a therapist, therapy can help you broaden your perspective or gently challenge perspectives that are too narrow ultimately keeping you stuck. Therapy can also provide you with new tools or the accountability you need to more consistently use and practice with the tools, skills and coping strategies you already know. Working on your mental health is a process, just like learning any new skill in life, you don’t get it right immediately and it doesn’t improve overnight. Learning any new skills takes vulnerability, practice and consistency and therapy can help you with that consistency so that you can find the answers that are already inside you with a little help to make them part of your actual daily living and reality.
Myth #5: Therapy is a quick fix for problems and will solve all my problems.
While therapy can be incredibly helpful for so many people, the length of therapy that is right for you is not a one size fits all equation. Therapy does take time, it takes patience, practice, self accountability and consistency—all the things that make up learning new skills. Taking care of your mental health is a skill, learning to view the world and act differently in response to circumstances is a skill. The goal of therapy is to help you learn ways to build awareness and bring focused attention to how you are feeling and patterns of thought in order to learn new ways to cope, manage and heal from those experiences that are heavy and at times all consuming. Therapy is not meant to give you quick advice, it’s to help you tap into the resources and resilience you already possess so that you learn the skills to take care of your mental health ongoing for the rest of your life. And every now and then, it helps to have refreshers or bring that additional support back. Whatever works best for you is okay.
Final Thoughts
Both prevention and intervention are valid, both matter. Therapy could help you in ways you didn’t even realize possible. If you have been thinking about therapy for some time and after reading this, have decided you are ready to take that next step, I’d love to help. Therapy with me is about making space for you, your agenda and your wants.
-Nicole Egan, LMFT